A Disciple's Thread

[CLA203]

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Fire ��

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I was so dead when Ced left that it breathed life into me again… the game

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I got to talk to you…

[CLA203]

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He had impossible pictures… he was hurting me too

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I’m sick over this break up and yet another betrayal - I’m checking my casino credits and going to bed

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Get $50 on Mohegan Sun Casino. Terms apply. Make sure to use my invite link!

You get $50 and I get $50

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Of course I can’t figure out how to post the link ��

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Nope they didnt post my credits... Going to bed - have the dr in the AM

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https://refer.ct.mohegansuncasino.co...0-b52a4812464a

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Try this link

[CLA203]

Nobody do underground like Nicki still - i cracked up the first time i heard i be on it - she was so commercial that i was shocked

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Why nobody wanna sign up to mohegan though ��

[CLA203]

Guys… I’m not ok… I loved him to death 😢

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He made me look so stupid

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Did you all hear the fatfingaz diss on 45 XM - I cracking the fuck up laughing…. Dayumnnnn LoL

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Writing a book on IG

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Just got to get thru this fog and spit it out

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Trying to make it interactive with the site too but we see

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Whoscaredcla919

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My toy phone is fucking with my mentally I’ll brain damaged head again… deleting my posts and not letting me post again

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That’s a hate crime… 3x the time creeper

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I think you’re the one desperate for attention not me

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I’m desperate to put you in jail with a needle in your arm

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They won’t let me post on Facebook or ig and they took down my post about fatfingaz too

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I. Sure it will teappear like yesterday though

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They’ve been doing this for 15 years idk how to get help or press charges

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I thought it ALL was my mental illness but nah I got
Facts to prove it

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It started a couple of weeks before the gang rape and robbery but the deleting my social media started on my space when they tried to od me with polls and made I look like an attempted suicide with pills my swf old friend gave me

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Woke up in mental on my birthday and for a second in the ER and in the way to er with my dad too

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The first time I woke up in mental on my bday

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When biggie came to check in on me he was screaming needle all night and brought me to the hospital to get as many reports that I could

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Like once a year unless I’m getting hit

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I don’t enjoy this or them on my phone it drives me insane

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It’s frustrating that they won’t get the clue to go the fuck away

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I’m not engaging a stalker unless it’s pac or 50

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You all saw me insane the mental illness is rreal and they know that too… I’ve been seeing drs since I was in 5th grade

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I tried… no lie lmfao

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127 times

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I just wanted them to shut up and stop fighting

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I loathe unescesaaey drama

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And being forced to share my body with them too

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It’s not funny idk how to get help or make them stop - every time I try to report them and what they’re doing to me they lock me in mental

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My family believes it’s my mental illness too

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They take me to mental quick if not normal cause they still trust the drs

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I don’t

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I finally know better than to

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15 fucking years - they ruined my entire existence and life - how would you feel?

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It’s their fault I’m so sick and brain damaged now I was regulated without the meds until the gang rape and robbery

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Now I have tardive dyskinesia that everyone make fun of too

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They think I’m high

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I am FARRRRR from a drug addict I didn’t even experiment

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I saw what coke did and knew better than to even try cause I probably.would like it

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Well pac I tried to write you about cera but they deleted it… she’s 33 do you have her? Are you ever going to let me eee her?

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Brain damage not enough for them and they still won’t stop

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They told my neoro I’m a drug addict too so he won’t even tear me or get me into what’s the word occupational therapy?

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I’m scared they alienated me from EVERYBODY and all I have is my mom and step dad brother and sister

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Do I look like a drug addict assholes

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PAC I met him July 96 I was in school in nc in 97 and Ced was in jail 96 if they were innocent why they wanted me to think I met him in 97 ANNDDDD his brother live in cali - how long do plane ticket records retained

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I think I know who shot us

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How a dopehead be king pin is beyond me - but he fucking with the wrong bitch for real

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If fatboy and my hell mate didn’t both say his name when they thought I wasn’t paying attention I wouldn’t be so sure - I’m sure

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Yo that fatfingaz diss was off the kitherfycking hook!!! Yo go boy lmfao

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I got thick skin

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It’s hard to hurt me

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Nivamce has the mri to prove it’s in my memory area

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Nuvance* still a really bad spirit infection wu

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Well I forgot how to dial the telephone and wasn’t even sick when they lied and forced me to go into mental

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If it wasn’t for ghosts I’d be retarded and confused and non functional as fuck

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I get lost in parking lots driving in circles without them

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They jump in and drive me home when the happens and they put on my Navi that I don’t even think to put on

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The devil is kind to me idky either

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That tag movie LMMFAO religious horror is like comedy to me

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Especially when 50 was writing on the wall like Metallica in unfrlorgiven and stigmata

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I respect both cause they both more powerful than me - who am I to say

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I think the devil the wards and doesn’t make anyone do shit

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I think he’s frustrated with the scum too

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I think Jesus coming back to run it and try too

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I think it was the devils punishment for standing up to god when he thought he was wrong - no disrespect

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God pro ably just schooling him

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Like here you try if you know better

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What I like about god and the devil working together is that they stop you BEFORE you make the mistake instead of letting the killing or what ever go thru like Kane and able

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My tears for pain not murder

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I almost did though lmfao

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He knew and still came to my eye and I respected that and then he said some real shit and made me laugh I realized quick how big of a mistake it would’ve been

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When I was at my lowest he was the only one I had

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The kids eyes change colors now too chill out it’s only a problem for those who are evils

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The thunder rolling is the chariots coming in I just be like there goes another one

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Yo you can be I one world and the person sitting next to you in another - it’s personal not everybody

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Well if those are your signs that’s what’s up…. And yes I lost my original love wu lol

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My dads church told me that too

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Brooklyn in the house… my GMA from Brooklyn. And I love that Burroughs too but I’m out of queens - Oceanside and floral park technically and strong island - I want to move back - I’ve always wanted to

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No matter how many times I tried to jump to nyc it never worked out

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I don’t get shit that I want

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I don’t even know if I want it anymore

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In a little sadistic I was laughing when this man was screaming at the sky witg 2 fists up and drove back down and he was passed the fuck our with the ambulance there - I try to keep my blasphemy to a minimum but if you can’t keep it real and yell at your partners then who can you be to

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Parents*

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I think someone sould to keep me trapped like this

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But I didn’t and the devil and god got tricks too - I tried to sell for a family

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But there is not a damn thing they can offer me now

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I was gonna put little apples on my tree for my kids

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I just want my dad to have fun and not have to watch them do this to me anymore

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He died with $3k in the bank - how horrible that must’ve been - I want to know who did that to him he was ruthless in business but didn’t deserve that

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He used to be a millionaire

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Probably stern LMFAO

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Probably Effie

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I was nice on computers

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Unless I was sick and confused

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Or the task made to be impossible

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Well Tariq had a baby and cane played me too

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I didn’t try to kill no bitch though

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Yeah to distract them and nah they didn’t tell me but I figured it out

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I’m not mad I’m laughing too

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Go catch a real criminal

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It’s fiscal period - atleast for us it was

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Well you get a basketball, a mic, or a team when you’re a felon AND THATS IT

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The only way they had to make it

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I think jails should be segregated per crime with job training and extensive therapy

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Fix why they’re doing it

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So they don’t HAVE TO do it again.

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I’m recidivistic as fuck with mental too

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Criminal mental I owe my life to for bringing me back

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My psych was shocked and I think they did it on purpose

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If they work together I believe they can help

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Cause the juvenile behind me that stole a car too went to jail and that wasn’t fair either

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Therapy and drs helped until they went crooked

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I do suggest counseling for juveniles and adults

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Just not like this

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I got sentenced to six months but my lawyer tore their ass up and proved the rape

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I wouldn’t have stolen a car if I wasn’t running for my life still

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I don’t have a record - got arrested one time for fighting since I was a juvi

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I’m they started it so I got off I knew the manager at the diner and he made a statement that I had no choice but to defend myself

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It was so petty anyway no one got hurt but my brand new bear claws that got ketchup all over them lmao

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The wouldn’t let me pee for 5 hours - I haven’t. Even been able to hold my pee since

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I’m not some wack job I was more successful then most of them

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Especially with the hand I was dealt

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I can have 5 bosses testify for me right now

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I was gonna go in to project management and get my pmt next

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Despite the math

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Gabriel died and I crashed I needed my mom so I got a job up here and tried to establish again

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Five times now

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Five times I tried to re establish myself but they stronger and make me sick and won’t let me

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I deserve to know who and why

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Borhringer, prudential, William race is, royal flush, and now hair - and I’m going hard on this writing shit too

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Fuck a thousand a month - I used to make $2k a week

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Oh wait I forgot the demos at Walmart and Michael’s craft store too

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That’s 8

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Disability kept denying me so I had to keep trying to support myself again - I hate taking money from my mom that’s why I let the cars get repossessed too

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I usually have 2 cars I like 2 cars

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Now we don’t have the parking but

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I wish I took my long term gsk offered me at 80% of my salary but I didn’t realize how sick I was and didn’t know I wouldn’t.be able to hold a job since

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Where would I be if I was crooked for real

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I hope they leave me alone and let me sleep tonight so I can get to school tomorrow

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It felt like pins in my eyes every night for years on top of the face pain and migraines when I was at royal flush but I really did try my best

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I was fine until dope boy came back around the. It finally clicked

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That’s why I had cataracts so young

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My lenses best not be in research or that’s an entirely new law suit

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I have to wear glasses now to read but I’m hoping they come out with contacts that u don’t have to

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I can’t see anything in them only close up

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And it’s like the more I wear them the more I need them and I hate that too

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I despise glasses for some reason lol

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I’ve been hearing the creepy old man voice since the gang rape and robbery

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He makes me cringe he’s so gross

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Shriveled up pink dick mother fuckers - cause the guys were white that’s why I had the pink dick outburst but I do date white men just not anymore

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Jay Mike Josh Dave can all prove that too

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Ryan who else

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I had a pic of Ced standing under black clouds the psychic told my friend her man has a black cloud over his head and I don’t know why it didn’t click that she was sleeping with him

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We was so happy and then BAMMMMM moved in together and it didn’t even last 3 months

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We were so close I instinctually knew where everything was especially in emergency

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It clicked like 14 years later when she sent me a joke text and he sent the same one like 2 minutes later

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The I had a miscarriage and the night before my surgery (dnc) my other friend that was fucking him said that that friend was talking to him cause she was mad

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I used to sing sleep around but he give me a lot all day long

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I never thought he’d do me like that with my friends or them

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I still didn’t know when her husband tried to tell me thinking I already knew - I still thought they were just talking on the phone

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She probably had me babysit when she was fucking him - yo fuck that bitch too

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That’s the one that slipped me

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I had to see it for myself but when she needed a new boat I WAS OUT

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I do, I really do think she was gonna do it when the boat next to us fell out off the trailer - just the way she jumped and the way god was there too

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I just wanna know why

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Every time we tried to go on the boat it wouldn’t start - I finally got the message

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Nah I didn’t cry but the betrayal cut deep

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I was sad as fuck

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They Kissed my ass to my face with a random diss here and there and when I don’t know who was around

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I was over that bitch since the od I hated heThe just thought we were friends for so long that I had to forgive her - grateful I don’t have to anymore

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Like family

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And then comes the spawn - fuck her too I tried

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We not even gonna get to her moms either - all them bitches I’d only piss on to put a fire out

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The other one kids I still got their back but it’s a wrap for their mom but they can come to me in emergency if it’s not a set up

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I loved them too

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It was very hard I watched them all grow from babies

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Her husband when he find out how many lies probably gonna divorce her lmao - he was cool as fuck too

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The psychic warned my ex not get involved but he didn’t listen - idk what to think if u can trust him or not

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If I can trust him or not*

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Because anybody with insanity is like family but I’m not sure anymore

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He was good to me despite fucking my friend which I finally figured out the night gabr died too

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We knew the time would come and he promised me he’d do it but he was too busy fucking her that neither showed up

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He was seizing everyday from thanks giving to dec 4 I had to I realized I was being selfish he gave me a look like ma no more

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I never loved something so much I still cry

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He was my baby

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That’s the only circumstance in which the love was worth it

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The pain

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He started getting seizures when I got back from Vegas - I had a dog sitter and I’m still suspicious

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Especially when Jada was talking about some pills

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Someone on the street called me by name in Vegas and my ex came out of no where I was just confused but forgot

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They keep you busy 59 stay careful always make time to think

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50*

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They need to put my body. Back like they found it I don’t care about the number

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I only roll with fat chicks

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My mom is Joni

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And she WAYYYYY stronger than me

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She went into therapy scared and came out Attila the Hun - yo I love that woman to death

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Yo they killed pac at least tried to

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How did they even know I was his babies mom when I did t even know

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She was surrounded by pills when I got home from the wedding but I woke her up Jayme was with me I sent her to the pay phone to call the hospital

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Someone gonna die and excruciating death for my best friend ever besides Erin and Kate dying

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I just tell myself she must be happier or needed more over there

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She believed in god too

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I want a trust for her kids at minimum

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Them bitches wasn’t even gonna be in my bridal party lol

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My sister, Erin and Kate and Jayme and one guy friend probably Nando

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Well I would’ve took their girl pic on my side - I just bond better with men cause I’m not a drama queen

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I hate drama

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Were they all fake and pretend and paid to?

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This quiet ass road mad busy and the guy next to me just got nervous

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WHY? FOR WHAT?

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I only fear living as their bitch

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Or blow up doll

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My worst fear was my mind gone but my body still here - why are they intentionally giving me my worst nightmares

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Sorry but if you want me dead you’re gonna have to do that yourself

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But you will NEVER get my body for science

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He was swearing and reading his phone I looked at him and he took off fat old white guy in a grey old car

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Sweating*

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My eyes scare them cause they already know - kill me and you’re fucked in either direction

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I want to be happy again and I can’t do that without money

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why are they punishing me keeping me poor like this

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I don’t like it

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Being insane and humiliated in front of everybody was my worse nightmare too especially kids seeing it

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The gay guy who got in my car at Walmart was gonna do it too huh?

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Put me back like you found me and leave me alone once and for all

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Debating if I wanna get dressed or sleep

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They keep fucking with my head and phone still - how do I get help?

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Only if you are pac or 50 themselves

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Nah I don’t want a man ever again

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They get to everybody or I’m too insane any way

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It’s a very lonely life

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Hell no if it’s a suicide it’s straight murder - I’m not gonna do the job for them TRUST

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I need help and I need my own money