Heaven's door

[thatdudeB]

When I look around I see black and white scenery/
Heaven or hell, I done pack the lies, greedily/
Face to face I'm on that yellow brick road/
Pass the dead on, the bellows hit home/
Screams I trust, voices are the knife to the wrist/
I miss the train of thought, my life's in a twist/
Sunk with the reality of the game, I loved first sight/
Drink the koolaid with leaps of faith, a doves first flight/
Living on edge with so many what ifs, I lack goals/
Wishing upon a star, get sucked in a black hole/
If only God could swoop down and listen to me/
Kill him with silence, send me to prison for free/
Shamed to wander with self, as I shadow box/
I talk to the ripples in the water as I send you hollow shots/
Whisper with prayers written on buried secrets/
Walk the line built for world wars hurried legions/
Til I learn like one of a kind in a world of followers/
Tweet about one, on another, this tour for shallow ones/
Cliffhanger, I fell from the pearly gates from the first step/
Born out of a question, truth is I lust depth/
Prepping for the end, I hang with dreamers/
Try to be lit, I wanna bang with schemers/
Hoped to dance on moons and stars, dressed in black/
With all my flaws I try to perfect it, addressed attack/

I'll put the links in, when I'm on a computer.

[thatdudeB]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...king-Salvation

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...ieving-Failure

[Nohbody]

sup B

before i even get into this, i just want to comment on your progression. I am sure myself and many others notice people progress, but never really makes the effort to let people know that it is acknowledged . . and i just wanted to make sure you knew that i can definitely see your elevation

so, onto the verse.

sometimes you just throw quick little keys together that are hit or miss for me. I can tell when they are just sort of rushed together and posted. . but then you give us drops like this one.

Now, i dont claim to be familiar with all your work, but in this one particularly, it seems like you really sat down and worked on your metaphors and multi syllable end rhymes. You didnt waste any lines, i could point out areas where the wording was a bit shaky, but you chose a scheme and a concept and just attacked everything very consistently while seemingly putting a bit more muster behind your vocabulary and imagery. point of all this being. . it probably is the most memorable drop i have read from you yet. I feel like you are still searching for that style to call your own, but from what i see here, you are getting close to reaching that top level of writing. looking forward to seeing you elevate. Lets try to make each verse better then the last

[Maximus]

this was pretty cool actually. sorry for the short feed I'm on a phone

[Cody Phoenix]

Upping for notoriety