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Showing results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Return

  1. #1

    Return

    Warning:

    Keep away from children,
    lest they burst into flames(
    speaking of which)

    There is a hair on my keyboard,
    burnt at one end like
    a black head, oozing cornsilk PUSS
    ON MY CAPS LOCK.

    AND IT CREEPS ALONG, JUST SO,
    HOPPING FROM A to S, to D, then F,
    so on and so forth
    until it throws a leg over







    page-down, and twirls itself tangled
    between p and g.

    From which poor, incinerated youth
    it was plucked, I do not know.
    How it happened upon my keyboard,
    I cannot fathom. It lays there, curled
    twice over, and flooding the spaces
    between my keys in follicular tears.

    I see it crawl up to the edge
    every now and again,
    casting a gaze into the abyss.
    I wonder if it knows the head
    from whom it was thrown;
    perhaps it is home sick,
    and will set off soon.

    I like to think that,
    because it is an awful eye-sore,
    and I would rather not be reminded of death
    every time I press
    return.

  2. #2

    Re: Return

    Meant to post this in Poets Corner. Can someone close this?

  3. #3
    Kept on a short leash
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Being The Ultimate Hero
    Posts
    9,955
    Battle Record
    0-500

    Re: Return

    Gay thread, homes. Gay thread.

    It gets a grade of C-

  4. #4
    Buzz Kill graf-x's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    1,444
    Battle Record
    9-18
    Awards VBL Champion

    Re: Return

    This poem was different to say the least
    but the message was cool.
    to me it seemed as a person with cancer was telling this story\\\

    I see it crawl up to the edge
    every now and again,
    casting a gaze into the abyss.
    I wonder if it knows the head
    from whom it was thrown;
    perhaps it is home sick,
    and will set off soon.
    dope stanza - imagery popped out to me in these lines

    overall good read - the simplicity of the story gave it a good touch to its quick read.


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  5. #5
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    NY, CT, NC (CT currently)
    Posts
    905
    Battle Record
    0-1

    Re: Return

    I liked that it was a easy flow, quick read.. but it touched on exactly what I hate about this site sometimes... Like way too much drama over a hair and it just creeps me out when guys get all sentimental like that. BUT I am the loner here - I think you are going to fit in great with all the dick riding poets here - you seem to have what they look for. Now please don't take that as an insult, cause really I am giving you props... I mean if you can write that way about a strand of hair, imagine something on the really real type subject. I'd like to read more - but about serious shit, not hair.

  6. #6

    Re: Return

    i hearda lotta lyrics, but this ones clever, some poets push weight - this one has feathers - your style is unique, and sure ive heard better, but whats a good news cast without bad weather? i like how you put this, you worded it well - if you made it less sappy, i think it would sell.... oh well, im tryin it, before im buyin it - aint no lyin, thats why im eyein it, keep on flyin it if youre supplyin it, and ill keep sponserin if you keep writin it...

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