Pistola (1-1) vs. Witness (1-0)

[Noodle]

Rules and Regulations

Good Luck!

[Witty]

Yup yup

[Tayteezie]

yeah

[Witty]

Cemeteries of London

Open up your eyes, and see like me

Rain beats upon the cobbled streets, smog choking the air
Moonlight shrouded in clouds, I come forth from my lair
Some call me evil, because I'm taking this city, and curing it's pain,
They judge me, call me a monster...but yet, aren't sure of my name

All my life I've known my mission, it wasn't my own decision,
A higher power delivered me, to cure evil and show my vision
Life without temptation, a dream that decides my occupation
I've been patient, working on my own to unite this nation
Head down - I creep through the streets of this dead town
Rain lashing my back, the scenes force on my face a sad frown
Gripping my weapon of truth and power, I spot this cancerous demon,
A soul so tempting to devour, begging me to release it from it's heathen
Stalking my prey, I scope out an alley, discreet and private
Where it can decay, people unaware of the beast inside it
Seizing my chance, I grab it, it screams when I puncture the lung,
And roars when I rip out the guts, that's it's last song now..it's done
So I run, leave it's soul to God, and it's body for the morning sun

I attend it's funeral, sickened by the grieving for this scum
My stomach heaving, I leave, my brain battered, sore and numb
Reeling inside, even in death it's evil deceives and corrupts,
I must take another, tonight, one hasn't relieved me enough,
So I creep, and I strike...another evil spirit leaving the night
I see in my sight, God's face.....it's brief and it's bright
He smiles, and blesses me...'I love you, I designed you specially
To do my bidding, every demon that dies...impresses me '
As I open my eyes, inside I'm free...as it lies decaying beside me,
I smile at it, grab it's filthy body...and start flaying it wildly
Once I'm done I walk away, happy I've done all that I can,
Now my Father will look upon me...and he'll call me a man

The media slanders me, branding me cowardly and lethal,
Trying to make out those that I'm devouring are 'people'
When actually they're evil, with demonic power, and deceitful
Nobody but me can see through the eyes of The Lord that I please
'Women' aren't human...they're a cancer, ever-growing, a disease
Their shells can rot, I'll keep doing this, until the day I drop
They name me Jack, call me evil...because I'm blessed...
...and they are not

Freedom comes with sacrifice

[Tayteezie]

http://i47.tinypic.com/2mmet8y.png
Music,
My hobby, My Love, My life
the reason I’m on this site
Since I was a boy, music is all that I’ve know
put on a C.D and played it full volume when no one was home
when I was alone, I’d record my raps listen to them then hope and dream
that one day I’d get signed and become the next best thing
music is my everything, when I first heard it I said it was cool man
since then music has evolved faster than humans
whenever I felt down I put a sad song
bumped some soulja boy and turned my swag on
throw on some smooth jazz and wind down
then throw on some Rick James and get my grind on
music is powerful, it’s helped me in every aspect of life
it’s the reason I was able to conquer my wife
and also what helped me she realize she wasn’t the one for me
and told me that in life, you can’t always have victory
I’ve experienced 25 years of music and for that I am greatfull
that it’s been there,
When I was trying to make her mine
music helped me get her
When she had me feeling down
music helped me feel better
when I was heartbroken
music helped me forget her
when we finally broke up
music helped realize I could’ve done better
when I look back at our relationship
music made me regret her

[Tayteezie]

busy week, nice drop Witness

[2triple0]

woow these were twoo very impressive pieces... witness really came with some fascinating rhymes schemes... i know that pistola's piece was short and seemed like he didn't put much effort in, but i think there was a lot more content and the rhthym was very delightful definitely a great piece of work worthy of a intellectual breakdown. one thing i liked about witness' piece was his placement of comma's for breaths in the text, it almost gave the text a special colour to it...

the topic of pistola's piece was a boy wearing headphones with something that looks like cables and a record he's playing with in his hand... then the piece is about a person's love for music, and how much it has done for them... i thought that was really deep man, and the flow was just unsurpassed by your opponent, even tho Witness did word his story very well... the verse by pistola ended really superbly and i just want to quote a few lines:

music helped me get her
When she had me feeling down
music helped me feel better
when I was heartbroken
music helped me forget her
when we finally broke up
music helped realize I could’ve done better
when I look back at our relationship
music made me regret her

this bit here was brilliant... i thought the repetition in the lines created a beautiful rhythym to finish this verse... it was almost as if the narrator was dancing to the music that he was so in love with (very cool), plus it made me think of when i was younger and i used to go everywhere with my ipod (lol)... definitely a cool piece of writing even though it was short... alright no hate just an opinion...i also feel that pistola wrote his verse more comfortably with more confidence in his text than witness....althought witness did come with a more lengthy piece of writing and his underlying meaning was incredible for me personally... his piece was entitled Cemetaries of London and I related to it on a personal level because I am staying somewhere in England right now, and if you have ever been to the UK you would know what the streets are like and how all the houses kind of look the same... it was wicked cool too think of all the imagery that this piece conjured up in my mind before i even started reading, or just from a quick qlance at the title or a summary of the text...

i could talk for hours about my life in england, but fuck it, i'll just have to give the V to Witness....particularly because i think Pistola's piece was better for an audio piece and did not have a storyline that was as complex as Witness'.... no hate again, and good luck with the rest of the season




Vote: Witness

[Witty]

busy week, nice drop Witness

Word, a lot of shit happening this week...thanks dude, same to you man

[sILLable]

witness-first off i liked the topic...i knew where you were going when i started reading it,but you did it so well and so fresh it was a great concept,your rhyme scheme in it self was sick..multis,wordplay...extremely descriptive imagery which painted the details of your story very nicely...it flwoed so smoothly and everything connected well...i liked how you were in his mind..how you displayed the fact that he thought he was ridding the world of some kind of demon or sin..which is according to "From Hell" (which is a good movie) thats what he believed..you did a great job with this piece and it was a very enjoyable read...so sick

pistola-i liked were you went with the picture topic..i thought it was tight..but when i read your piece it sounded rushed..now im not saying it is but it did seem rushed when i read it..your rhyme scheme seemed to lack in places..your lines were off in some places..ive seen you write better..but for what it was this piece was nice and not a bad topic...i would have liked to see you tackle this topic with more time put into your verse..but like i said for what it was and bein busy it was nice.

vote-the witness

[Ink Edible]

Vote - The Witness

Why?
For me, I like the fluency of the way Witness piece read, his multiples were very wel placed, yet he never stretched for them so they seemed natural, and the more natural, the more fluent the read. Also, I was intrigued throughout his whole piece each line had me wanting to read on and get inside the mind of this beast and see and feel what he had.

Pistolas piece took a more poetic approach, which I can dig seeing as I took a couple poetry classes a couple quarters ago, however, it lacked a lot of technical qualities in a poetry piece. It was really simple, which doesn't necessarily mean bad, but it just lacks complexity and made me lose interest. Maybe some internal rhymes, or alliteration would've made this piece come together a little more...I don't mind that some lined didn't rhyme, although I feel you should've gone to either extreme and had a rhyme scheme or no end-rhyme at all. I really enjoyed this:

music helped me get her
When she had me feeling down
music helped me feel better
when I was heartbroken
music helped me forget her
when we finally broke up
music helped realize I could’ve done better
when I look back at our relationship
music made me regret her

[Messiah.]

Shame Pistola couldnt drop a more solid piece but obviously had to rush it towards the end, it started off well dude, some good imagery and nice little storyline started to develop. Your emotion was solid in areas and in others it wasnt up to scratch, try and get more time my friend your better than this. Witness you came with your usual good self lol, nice complex storyline that was tied together well with some good emotion and solid imagery, nice concept and more developed overall than Pistola. Vote/Witness.

[SMZ]

witness - very nice concept, really liked the lines around the 'designed specially' - rhyming was pretty solid - few hiccups in the flow, but not many i thought - just a very nice verse and you judged the length quite well - right when i was starting to get bored and think it was a simple idea, you enlarged the picture frame and turned the color on - well done

pistola - simple execution, but ur piece had class... i dug the way you ended it with the repeating lines... i felt you there... if ur whole piece had carried that emotion i would prolly give this to you... but while the rest of it wasn't dead, it wasn't as poignant either... still good piece

v/ witness

[Brandon Cee]

Witness wins (2-0)
Pistola loses (1-2)

CLOSED