Originally Posted by
Silhouettes
We were apart all summer, that's when my smoking started
and my toking hardened when I was broken hearted
This was a dope opener. Set the tone for the whole piece, multis were on point.
You came back, but I noticed your feelings had changed
Resurfaced, but what should I believe in this maze?
Alright, this bar could use a little more content, but there's not really anything wrong with it.
What happened to us? You made me who I am
Flattened the buzz, when we got close, you just ran
Still developing, staying with the topic. I like the flow here as well
And I understand it might have been scary
but it's like you dragged on the strives that we've carried
This just sounds like there's an extra syllable in it somewhere. Maybe "like you've dragged on strives.."? Just a technical issue here, nothing content wise.
The parts about you that I liked have been buried
but I still love you and that don't strike me as fairly
This sets up the next bar well
Had to cut you off, and you was shifty to the end
Now fuck you, saying you miss me as a friend
Emotional lines here, I think they probably sound familiar to a lot of people as well. I like this bar
How can you ask me to set my feelings aside,
when just talking to you, I'm concealing my cries?
Consistent tone and mood here. Doing a good job with the content fam
You know I'm too stubborn to be revealing my strives
Still you continue destroying my healing of pride
Flow's straight again, the multis are OK... Wording is a little awkward though
Just tell me your feelings, I wonder and,
by the way, fuck you, you never tried to understand
Please, tell me your feelings, I wonder and,
I'll never forget you, Susie, you don't understand
This was a good end to a nice short piece.