Upon Palatine Hill

[Alphaeus]

Upon Palatine Hill
By Stock

Place my eyes,
On the top of Alaskan flows
And I will watch, the slow, slow
Drifts of time melt away, away….

In a billion years,
When the world will crack
I hope, I hope,
My atoms are the first to
Touch the edge of time…
An when the seventh seal
Is opened up,
I will be the dust that settles
Upon Palatine hill

Place my eyes,
On the top of Alaskan flows
And I will watch, the slow, slow
Drifts of time melt away

I could paint a perfect aurora….
Never miss, never miss a sunsets glory…

I would never miss…

[Alphaeus]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...nt-378801.html
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[Alphaeus]

Any feedback will be returned

[Ill Humor]

I think that this is more effective spoken than read. You chose a deep topic which i was a little disapointed that this didn't have more depth. It seems like you limited yourself to what you wanted to express. I do like your choice of words and structure.

-IHE

[CALIPH80]

^^i disagree.i think this is a great poem which is very short but effective.i love the way it was written and the images you brought.
I hope, I hope,
My atoms are the first to
Touch the edge of time…
^^that was a dope line i can relate to.very good drop here.leave some feedback on my piece called 'my nation'

[Vincent Maestro]

I liked the rhythm of this piece I see it as more of a rhythm piece than anything else because of the refrains.

The topic kinda reminded me of global warming and the effects its having on us.
The pic made me think too about urbanization and how that effects the environment alot....nice piece Stock

[Ntalek]

this was a cool read..I found this kindergarten teachers tone while reading it for some reason??? like when the teacher would read you a story in class and shit..IDK wut it was maybe the way it was written..but I thought this drop had it moments..that line written quoted was a nice touch...overall i thought you gave good descriptive images with your wording and found this to be a bit better than I expected..so props and rtf.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ns-378498.html