this was solid...
You had a very nice flow as well as a nicely thought out story...can't say that I was really moved at any point, what I can say is that I felt you. Had you added a little bit more imagery/detailed to this topic you could have a slightly more visual and relatable piece, but for what it was it was good. Your skills are evident. Keep at it!
peace
This was a very nice piece imagination was very good, worsplay was awesome, you stayed on point with the topic, and the flow was pretty gud i enjoyed reading this piece bruh keep it up
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Thanks FAM!.
thanks for the FEED YO!.
i really appreciated it!
if you need anything to be RTF i'll drop some feed!
Open Mic
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Written Voices
i liked this....nice topic and nice flow to it....
rhymes were good and vocab was nice overall...
complexity and imagery was nice throughout...
overall this was a nice pecie...good job.keep it up
^^
word plain thanks man!
by the way PM me homes!
Open Mic
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Written Voices
this was an ite peice fo real, flow was on point, nice imagery, not much emotion in this drop, well not that i could see, the structure was on point, i liked the poetic side of this fizz. vocab was pretty basic though, i see gr8 potental in this O'm never the less because of a couple of stanza's you threw in, i love stanza's bruv,
overall this was an enjoyable read..nice work
^^
thanks man nice!....
upping for feed!
Open Mic
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Written Voices
i was really feeling this piece. the imagery was definitely there. The emotion was average. It coulda been deeper ya dig. keep it up. cause i loved it....made me think a bit.
Man this was a very good piece, you had a very good flow going on that kept me interested and kept me reading. The complexity was nice and you're imagery was very good too. You're structure was good but I feel you lacked emoition. Add that and it will be a wrap. Nicely done.
well thanks everybody foe the feed YO REALLY APPRECIATED!....
Open Mic
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Written Voices
I enjoyed this quite a bit. The rhyme scheme never got all that complex and thus left the piece a bit more significant in poetic terms. I think the beginning was a bit forced, some of the wording seemed too overdramatic and you didn't get into the story I think you really wanted to tell until you got to the final two stanzas, which I think elevated the piece as a whole. Still a good job, I liked the story and the feeling you conveyed of letting your lover go for her better, and yet keeping it silent that you love her so that she doesn't have to hear it, because you know it's for the better that she doesn't. I've been there before, brother. If I understand it right.
A.I.
"She managed to extract from the restriction itself a further delicate thought, like good poets whom the tyranny of rhyme forces into the discovery of their finest lines."
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