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Thread: The Experience

  1. #1

    The Experience

    OK this is my first open mic, but Im gonna be open for criticism. Mods, here are my two links on critiques to other open mics:

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=245377&page=2

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=245626

    This doesnt yet have a title, but its more of a rant than a song about my current and past life.
    Here goes:

    All my life I felt like I had some disease like leprosy,
    Everybody avoidin' me on the street
    No one wanted to believe in me not even mommy or poppy,
    So I had make do with believin' in myself,
    Often putting my feelings up on the shelf,
    Many a time I was told to go burn in hell

    Now look at the time, Im not worth a damn dime,
    to people who always had a pretty penny to spend
    So many a times I wish my life would end,
    My head keeps spinning, but I guess Im ok
    Im still breathing in the evening,
    Every morning when the sun comes up,
    I wonder where I couldve grew up,
    In a different life, maybe a different time,
    But all thats behind me now,
    So I grew up and your fed up with me now.

    Now let's get down to the truth,
    I grew up in a small town,
    Where things got around,
    I got my ass kicked by bunch of fucking hicks,
    I see Sidney Ward driving around in his nice Ford,
    Maybe gettin' some more,
    but he leaves the worst to the poor.
    Put yourself in my postion
    Just try to enviosion,
    a struggling emergecy medical technician,
    having to deal with some sad conditions
    in trying to acheive an ambition.
    I took the class and I passed,
    not only am I an EMT,
    Im also a part of the National Registry,
    but no one's hiring me,
    I got no real experience,
    I have alot of knowledge and alot of inexperience,
    Im green behind the ears,
    I act like I got no fears,
    but not be able to do what I love brings me to tears


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    OK thats all - critique me! (puts on fireproof suit)

    -Doc Vfib
    Last edited by DR_VFIB; November 3rd, 2005 at 03:06 PM

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