...:::Tin-Man Complex:::...

[Nohbody]

Tin-Man Complex
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I’m a relic suspended in animation
The unintended consequence of being stalled in cessation
Every feeling felt is all but altered replication
The foundation to the soul built on flaws & complications


stop

If you wait long enough, you’ll halt & sink within
Until the issues you contain are too restrained to tinker with
I tried to pick the pieces up, but split my troubled heart
Scattered on the floor, life is shattered puzzle parts
The subtle art of living life in the distance
& balance giving what you take with remaining intimate
Taking habituates until visions ruminate
Reclusive to a fault and still the rumors cumulate
Alienated, crazy how we acclimate to loneliness
Then let the silence it creates become harmonious
My only wish, not to be tossed out into the dark
For my Tin Man suit accommodated me without a heart
Every part of me seems muted to the feel
A trial run of self denial shoved into a muses shell
Climbing from that ruse, companionship is what I seek
Every time I open up it reveals that I am weak
Not to be misunderstood is the conundrum that I seek
I’m unstable, but it’s hard to table fundamental needs
Each attempt to speak, the words are foiled by pain
Today I hope the forecast calls for oil in the rain
My life contains a spoiler, it’s so predictive in the end
Situated on the fence so long the metal starts to bend
And with every dent the hardship starts again
My rusted joints in atrophy & far too gone to mend
This make-pretend arrangement engraved into my brain
So many questions hanging over me I can’t explain
They give suggestions but I’m not susceptive to change
Upset that life is out of sorts & too complex to rearrange
So if a stranger asks, tell them to tap against my chest
And let the hollow tin echo the emptiness possessed

As I rest under the sun
Entangled in roots

I’d love to see the ones who judge me
Step in this suit

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...7-Hold-Onto-Me
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...The-Elder-Tree

[Soule]

This was dope. A lot of solid wording from beginning to end. Crazy that I just did that tin man piece a bit ago, though mine wasn't quite as consistent about the metaphor as this one was. Think the flow here stood out the most. Really smooth. I liked the oil in the rain line quite a bit. Good shit man, worth the nom-nom.

[Cody Nash]

"Today I hope the forecast calls for oil in the rain"

Really loved this line specifically and there were some other standout lines just like that which I could vibe with. It was a very poetic style OM with lots of cool language. I really was a fan of the "emptiness possessed" part that ended it, felt like you could've made it maybe a little smoother right there? But that's me reeeeeallly nitpicking from my writer brain and looking for something to critique when really there's no need to do that because I just enjoyed it from start to finish haha. I liked how it was like a tin-man confessional from an emotional/personal standpoint and not just some wizard of oz flip. There was a ton of vivid and colorful images thrown in there and I really enjoyed the read man. Deserving of the nom from Soule' for sure! I would second that nomination. Will definitely keep reading your work as long as I stick around these parts. Much love.