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Thread: Draw The Line

  1. #1
    Banned
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
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    Your funeral
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    Battle Record
    38-22

    Draw The Line

    People seem to keep a way between pleasure and pain
    It may seem strange to us, even insane
    They might've lost their mind, their lives, would send a chill across a spine
    Between pleasure and pain where do you draw the line?

    Lady Red, you may've heard of her ways in bed
    She'll chain you to the front of the bed, lacerate your leg
    She got a whip,
    Also a paddle tell her that you wanna battle but she got you straddled
    She'll cut out all of that shit
    She aint a joke, autoerotic choke, poke your scrotum with the spoke
    .....Of her stilleto till you beg her no and scream to let you go
    Her favorite clients, wealthy men who act like lions,
    Into finance, they wanna pay her for the violence
    Men who seem to be strength and show no sign of weakness
    But they get their power rechecked, its like they really need this
    Not really tortured souls, they just wanna feel vulnerable
    The world was just a globe to hold
    Born with a silver spoon and fork of gold
    Painless safe sex braindead, craved dominatrix
    Best in the biz, ask for lady red and do a slave bid..

    Torturing himself, without physical instruments
    Instead his heart's ligaments tearing in small increments
    A dry throat, every time he hopes he'll meet his eyes to hers again
    Since 9 or ten has prized the gem named Soria, she's a Mexican
    Admired her, studied the chick, what it'd be like to touch her skin,
    Lips pushed up against his, but was rejected
    She felt, overwhelmed by the affection, full-blown infection,
    Looks at his reflection,
    Sees the pain, wouldnt have it any other way
    She remains single, so he figures that she's still game
    Heard today, in a month or two, she'll move away
    He'll try his hardest just, to give a reason to wanna stay
    In the back of his mind knows she'll never ask to be
    The girl of his, but a guy can have a dream, cant he??

    Have you seen the kid who smacks the glasses off another?
    All the kids who got no strength will run for cover
    From that tough one, a youngblood, I guess misunderstood
    Took this one kid, who stepped to him, and fucked him up good
    With an ear-to-ear grin the whole time,
    The poor child caught a beatdown, enough to send him half of 3 miles
    To the hospital, to put his jaw back in place, a few boots to the face
    Now he'll never violate the tyrant's space
    Speaking of the bully, he was on his way to Juvy
    First he'd have to talk to counselors, cause they knew some things
    Had discovered he was a troubled little busta
    But the first session was twisted, all signs had to be misred
    Evaluated that the kid was just plain sadistic
    Got a major rush from pounding kids straight into dust
    But they aint givin up, gotta be an angel under rust
    "Let's see, the little monster was foster child, adopted while
    As a toddler, aight well, that still dont explain his misbehavin
    There's a hidden complication lets talk to the guardians," and they said
    They didnt even realize he became an
    Unexplicable, rage of hostility till the incident,
    But then they talked to him again
    Suddenly he broke down, told 'em bout the visits to his so-called uncle
    Where the drunk dude left unsupervised, did any dirt he'd want to
    Now they switched from "why'd you punch the kid" to "Where'd he touch you"
    He was just acting out feelings in a way he knew how
    Thought a doomed child, perspective changed on how they view him now...


    My 2 Links:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...html-Freestyle by Jpatt
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...-Fundamentally Sound
    Last edited by Vince; December 22nd, 2008 at 05:06 PM

  2. #2
    Banned
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Your funeral
    Posts
    1,688
    Battle Record
    38-22

    Re: Draw The Line

    upping for feed.

  3. #3
    Soule
    Guest

    Re: Draw The Line

    I actually loved the first four lines of this piece. At first I wasn't expecting much but the draw the line concept is cool. Wording was good, rhymescheme could have been less simple but for you upcoming topical heads that seems to be one of the many flaws in pieces these days. Oh well, you'll get it sooner or later. Imagery was really cool in this piece and I feel that you have mad potential bro. Keep it up and check out my new piece "Goodbye Loneliness."

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