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Thread: Reality Escaping. New verse drop your links

  1. #1
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    Post Reality Escaping. New verse drop your links

    i sit on these steps, feeling like the valley of death/
    shall fear no evil, react spiteful and speak lethal/
    hallow hearted adolescent upheaval how the kid grew/
    glamorize death in lyrics, think about whats underneath you/

    a father, grandmother, lord forbid it be your younger brother/
    talk murder without knowing- the grief to lose another/
    speed of the world depresses being stuck in whats departed/
    the black of the bottom emptiness emotions arctic/

    hard liquor pumps through thin bodies- tolerated essence/
    life lessons never remembered, pictures of scattered segments/
    surviving off blessings, days dusking what seems like seconds/
    losing years in these high times, notice a dimmed reflection/

    the karma of a sinner summer nights feeling like cold winter/
    old friends passing and asking them what their gettin int-a/
    no replies close my mind, like a fiend for embracement/
    stayed the same while peers change, reality escaping/

  2. #2
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    Re: Reality Escaping. New verse drop your links

    replied to
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...of-367745.html
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...st-367690.html


    drop your links i'll stop by and leave feedback.. good day

  3. #3
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    Re: Reality Escaping. New verse drop your links

    uppin this

  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title! JUstintime's Avatar
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    Re: Reality Escaping. New verse drop your links

    wow i actually thouyht i wouldnt like it but i did good imagery a little off oon the flow but u seemed to recapture it in the next line or to. more vocab and multis and elevate and youll do fine
    JB!

  5. #5
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    Re: Reality Escaping. New verse drop your links

    Not bad at all. Short and simple. The flow was solid as was the vocabulary. Your content was cool, but it just seemed like there wasnt alot of it. Would have liked to see you expand.

  6. #6
    You've Earned a Custom Title! JUstintime's Avatar
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    Re: Reality Escaping. New verse drop your links

    here feed me back some shit and why more thing u should made this longer i felt like i had read only half a book wheres the other half?
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ad-369161.html
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...st-368854.html
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...fe-368981.html
    JB!

  7. #7
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    Re: Reality Escaping. New verse drop your links

    This was straight. aight rhyme scheme, but the topic was nice and you did it pretty well. flow was straight as well.

    O/A, 7/10

    stay up

  8. #8
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    Re: Reality Escaping. New verse drop your links

    feelin this piece.i'd continue wit u,but that's your decision.
    everyday's a questions will I live to the next? i feel a cold hand on the back of my neck.

  9. #9
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Notebook's Avatar
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    Re: Reality Escaping. New verse drop your links

    nice overall piece...let me breack it down generally...

    5/5 Emotion
    3/5 Imagery
    3/5 Lyrics
    4/5 Enjoyment
    3/5 Rhyme scheme

    Overall a 3/5 good work!!!

    SO now return the favor...>>> http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...od-368992.html <<<<<

  10. #10
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    Re: Reality Escaping. New verse drop your links

    overall its iight... didnt like it dat much... u had nice vocab and stuff... but the rhymin at first didnt get me into it dat much... if u would work a lil on the rhymin perspective it could be better... but anyways i still give it 5.5/10... if u would work harder on the rhymin... it mite be a 6.5... still good idea... keep it up...

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