Too Bold a Taste

[Laureate]

Too Bold a Taste

She peered around squinting, sunlight was blinding,
Lying on blacktop,
enhancing the shining,
Trying to relax, forget about her black past
Daydreaming of thoughts,
Flowing with drafts
12 story apartment, up on the roof patio, the blue sky rolls over
Like a repetitive slideshow
Oblivious to the figure
Emerging from the ground
Gliding in the shadows of overhead clouds
Overtaken by a chasm, transported to dark places,
Chains where demons hang and aborted aspirations
Her history revealed, fragments and pieces
The door closed with furry, blackness engulfed her
Electricity unpaid
but why should she bother
The darkness surrounded, becoming
make up for black eyes
Track marks on her arms,
Ankles,
thighs
How she tried to run away
Start her life again
Forget about the events, where tragedy began
But it always catches up, no matter how deep it was burrowed
You can’t outrun something
When you travel in a circle, and in this imperfect world the devil always watches
Quick to make decisions
And glorify his stalkings
Angels do the same, showing past mistakes
Giving time to repent
And follow different ways, A second chance in life
Perhaps to make it right
For to see the choice of heaven, you first see the night
And the blinding intervention, to show you other senses
Spit out the bold taste of hate,
Evil,
deception
She sat upright,
wide eyed,
tried
to picture the sky
Without the black smoke
That blinded her eyes, compromised with the face,
That was forever imprinted
Black on red canvas,
Profiling no witness
Blink and you’d miss it, the flash of the damned
The shadow in daylight
Unexplained by the cam
Revealing the secrets,
The path to the enlightened
As she spit and peered up, no longer frightened.

[waterflow]

well i no im a little late but ummm this poem was great i really could picture the painting that u was tryin to convey in this peice and im not happy to say but i can relate so all around good job.

ps i will cum back 4 better feed back

[Dyl]

Why the fuck was this slept on so much.This place is losing activity.I really liked this poem.It had its own unique style to it that I really liked.Structure could have been better but it did not matter in this piece.It kept my attention all the way through and I was very impressed with the imagery.This is'nt my favourite piece you have written but it is dope.Really good read and keep it up

[shawty"B"]

wow... holy crap Ben.. I loved this! I really enjoyed how random the entire thing seemed to me until the very end. You lost me a few times throughout the poem but it all makes sense after all. One of the things that I really did enjoy was the broken imagery. For some reason it just seems fitting to have it broken instead of a video-like thing goin on. The way you ended it was great too. nothing like what I expected to see. Great job hunny.

~....Faorite Part....~

"And the blinding intervention, to show you other senses
Spit out the bold taste of hate,
Evil,
deception
She sat upright,
wide eyed,
tried
to picture the sky
Without the black smoke
That blinded her eyes, compromised with the face"

~*UnO*~

~Shawty "B"aby

[Egeria]

Nice, nice, nice. I wish I had enough time to write out a more detailed description of what I admired in this poem (i.e. in terms of internal rhyme schemes, metas, ect.), but to address the universal effect, I very much enjoyed the disjunct nature of the poem. Although I can't completely relate to the plotline of the piece, the imagery was vivid enough to draw out an internal storyboard for me. There were a couple of places I had to read over a few times to grasp your concept as well as continue the line flow, but still enjoyed it throughly. Good read, and good work

[Laureate]

thanks, up