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Thread: Sci-fi vs. Reality

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Vortex's Avatar
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    Sci-fi vs. Reality

    Forget disaster, I don’t care if the sphere goes BOOM!
    Then all that’s left on the surface is a nuclear mushroom
    As I die drowning in this doom, burdened with spiteful sin
    This is my rightful end, sliding to Hell when the sky falls in
    Even Lucifer don’t like me, see he’s never given me shit
    Living in the same boat as the broke ever feeling seasick
    So defend your borders with a battalion of reptilian guards
    It’s not my concern if the earth crumbles to a billion shards
    God I lost faith, life left scars on my psychosomatic state
    My soul is a result of society: fuelled by cold erratic hate
    Untold prophecies of a tragic fate, making the feeble faint
    Envision green skies & red rivers painted in deceitful taint
    Fiends touch angel dust pressures influx war spills erupts
    Men kill for lusts, the hungry fight over no-thrill products
    Acid rain leaks fill ducts; pollutions reach obscene peaks
    The ozone’s already fucked it’s too late for green-peace
    Imagine clones machine freaks linked in synchronization
    Thinking same thoughts spare-parts’ our last destination
    The scrapheap melted in trapped heat recycled as robots
    Could this be the future reality or just a mythical paradox?




    This Sci-fi vs. Reality
    .................................................. ......................

  2. #2
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    .................................................. ......................

  3. #3
    ..Ill..
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    Damn that was dope a loved the complexity of this peac nice wordplay and decent vocab always help keep postin shit like this

  4. #4
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    thanks for peepin still bro

    uppin this ish
    .................................................. ......................

  5. #5
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    ^><><><^
    .................................................. ......................

  6. #6
    Elavated
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    You outta cum join Ill R Us we got a str8 roster

  7. #7
    Elavated
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    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=235076
    But If you post in here take out your karakte kick sig makes you look like a herb

  8. #8
    You've Earned a Custom Title! mcl's Avatar
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    that is one hell of a crazy message and the piece really got me thinking the words used fit perfectly

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by mcl
    that is one hell of a crazy message and the piece really got me thinking the words used fit perfectly

    safe bruv


    upz
    .................................................. ......................

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elavated
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=235076
    But If you post in here take out your karakte kick sig makes you look like a herb

    NO! i dont wanna be in your crew
    .................................................. ......................

  11. #11
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Vortex's Avatar
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    come on this is worth more than a couple one line feeds

    after all the fukken feed i giv out

    up this fucker
    .................................................. ......................

  12. #12
    The True Psycho of RB
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    I liked the concept it was original so i'll give you props for that plus you actually did this concept justice. Your vocab was used well but you overused it in some parts espically towards the end. Try and keep that vocab at the level youve got it but try not to make your rhymes too cryptic(Hard To Understand) cause the average person who reads this is another gonna find a lot of it gibberish. But the vocab worked well cause you created some nice imagery and you brought up some deep questions in this piece so this was an impressive piece. The structure was fine but i dont give a fuck about structure when you do audios bar structure dont mean shit.
    Another thing i noticed about this piece was the flow it wasnt as nice as your previous pieces so try and keep that flow more consistent.

    Return the feed on my new om id appreciate it:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=235527

  13. #13
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    Man this was some El-P shit right here. Very complex in the concept as well as the structure was tight and not scattered all around. Also you kept things eerie, I like that kind of energy in rhymes. All in all, good piece man.

  14. #14
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Vortex's Avatar
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    good looking out warchild and madhatt5er

    but warchild this vocab is far from too complex or over the top

    if peeps cant read it str8 they should peep a dictionary or just stay retarded, i dont gi a fucki.. and as far as im concerned the flow is air-tight you gotta read it at the right pace.. which is fast


    uppins


    up
    .................................................. ......................

  15. #15
    NuM-WuN
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    i enjoyed this piece..i agree with the vocab...it was just right for you to understand and make your verse more complex without goin over the top..but i do think 1-2 bars were uneven with flow compared to the rest of the verse..your concept was nice, i liked your imagery about the pollution n stuff...you coulda probably extended your verse but thats ok..your multis were really nice, fav bars:

    So defend your borders with a battalion of reptilian guards
    It’s not my concern if the earth crumbles to a billion shards
    ^^flowed perfectly right there

    overall i'd say this was dope...keep writin..oNE

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