*WARNING!* HANZ OFF....FIRST POST on dis board...FEEDBAK would b ILL

[HanZ oFF]

i got da tightest-skill-yo/
that sum ppl mite-jus-kill-fo/
i laff while takin "hits from the bong"...n have em runnin up cypress-hillz-(OH!)/
the mic-is-still ready for me to strike-n-kill-so/
u KNOW...that this guy-is-ill-bro/
no mo drug money,i wanna make righteous mills hoe/
the brightest-silo-huette these fellows met/
n i havent even sed hello-yet/
this ghetto-head wit the mellow-set/
is next-in-line, i expect-ta-sign,so u better sell-yo-shet/
fear-it-b cuz lyr-ic-ly no1 cums close...unless i got a meer-wit-me/(mirror)
dun wanna hear-it-g unless its a secret-see/
u'll fall if u try at all cuz my peak-is-steep/
read-it-geeks,u need-ta-speak, up to beat-this-deep-mystique/
so betta-yet call me eva-rest cuz i'll wreck-ya-chest/
i neva-guess, cuz u bet-im-blessd/
i xpect-tha-best n even if MY rymes b weak..they can still test-tha-rest/
i jus fukd this post wit no rubber...should i get-a-test?!//

[Mistral]

This was ok....structure was ok, just watch try to touch it up a bit, so its structured a little better....you had some nice multies in this which made the flow good i thought, it stayed on through out the piece...you dont need to bold the multies or use hyphens though but if you want you can, dont really matter i guess lol...but this was alright...keep at it.