Fucking with my Head is Your Death Bed

Leave me and my family alone…

Death Bed

Just picked out an outfit but I couldn’t find the pants I wanted
My mom just came and said here these were on the kitchen counter… the pants I wanted to wear - no fronting
But how they get there and that’s when I get so effing tired
Living in a world where it feels everything is so effing wired
I can’t tell a difference between a ghost, a sleep walk, or something they see as miraculous
I’m so fucking mad right now cause the weird shit won’t stop and bitches smoking crack to this
And to play on a secret… one everyone keep from me
And they refuse to stop or let me out unless it’s their ending they get to see
I’m a ignore it… cause what can I do
I love my mom to death but she outside stalking my room
I feel guilty cause it’s getting me mad and I don’t wanna assume
But keeping secrets from me is fucking with my head and are thoughts I can no longer consume
What the fuck is going on? Nobody will tell me
Nobody will tell me anything except what they want to be
NO!!!! I won’t do that I refuse
I refuse to give them anything they want or the words they choose to use
I rather live one day in perfect then 10 years of not there
One second to a decade of despair
I mean I don’t even have to be here if you want me to be clear
Cause a life of oppression just isn’t fair
Don’t play games… stop the disrespect and tell me to my face
Cause all these seconds of fear and confusion and trauma can never be erased
(AND YOU STILL DOING IT)
I can’t sit here all night and wonder why I chose those pants
Or how they got on the counter or under which circumstance
It’s not over… it’s not fucking over somehow it happened again
I cant understand or justify anyone or ghost still fucking with my head
Straight up… I rather be dead

I refuse to sit here and check the time or how long ago that was posted or how 2 hrs passed in what felt like one… I refuse

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My moms wouldn’t fuck with me or my head so if someone telling her something… I’ll shoot you between the eyes on the police station lawn and world star it in broad day light type crazy

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I’m gonna try to get dressed…

Ok… I feel better now ;o)

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I’m well aware and prepared to do 25 year (if I have to) cause THIS?!?????

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Because I have morals and principals and bowing to YOU?!??? I’ll kill your before I ever try to kill myself again I promise you!!!

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You*

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Only I don’t know who on me hurting me and fucking with me like this or how they even got there to begin with…

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Idc they’re disrespecting me and never had permission to

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If I don’t wanna share my body with them or like this I don’t have to

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I’m well aware what they can do but I don’t care my god would give me peace and comfort not hit a bitch over the head and try to drag her to their cave or beat her into doing what they want her to do. Cause you can’t handle one sir…

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There’s a reason why they hate me… I’ll tell you the truth for real

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https://youtu.be/0yVdBlGSgRw

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I went off the grid and took it… 2005

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And they always throw parties and don’t invite me LoL

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My boy served 25… and Fox like a dr in the making… and I don’t know if either back me but I feel our stories are here… you know?

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I put my Nextel in the bushes in front of my house… biggie taught me that :o)

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My instincts could tell someone was watching

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But that’s not why I didn’t kill him… I got to the door and he was being cursed out by his family and then he knew what was up and came to my eye anyway and the respect I had for that caught me by surprise. Then he pointed to the scribbles in my notebook and made me laugh… it was over and we both never crossed the lines again and he my heart for real… anyone touch him 10 gone I’m going off like an ouzi

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I realized I was crazy and would really do it… so I worked a lot on my temper and self control

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Like that DMX song “swore you was a killer” … hell no I was just as shocked as they were!!!

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But I can tell you from facts doing the right thing will get you blessed!!

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So who and where are the other cities?

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My TAG team… we a lot alike and it’s religious to me too and I’m not letting him go!

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The funniest part was everytime I seen him after I’d be like… I’d still be in jail… 8 yrs later still be in jail… etc. I’m not lying when I say he is one of the greatest most stand up men I know. And he laughs about it now too! But I feel like I almost took an Angel off this earth type like with all these shootings going on now and stuff. Like I pray for them to get the divine intervention we had like if 5 could testify to NOT pulling it maybe we can make a change