Check This Verse!

Ive BEEN OUT FOR A MINUTE, BUT IM BACK IN DA GAME
rip rhymes ruthesly i will mangle ur frame
Im In Charge Of Da Genocide Im Treating The Weak
Cats All Gassed Up. HAVE U LAYIN BENEATH
Cuz I Spark Bars At U With My Pen At My Side
Im The Definition Of The Nicest Yall No Im Rdy 2 Ride
N U Kids Wouldnt Be Da Turth If U Wer In A Prophecy
Im Da Missing Scripture So Its Known U Aint Passin Me
Honesstly, Point Blank Ull Be Restless In A Coffin B
Ya Couldnt Lead In My Footsteps If U Followed My Legacy
Ima A Real Lyricicsts I Dont Pretend To Be, Expect To See
Ur Head Rolled Over Chopped Off If U Tryin Me
I Spit When I Shine Da Way I Illuminate The Path
Will Put Da Tools To Ya Chest Tho If U Testin My Wrath
Ima Headliner So U No I Got The Top Text
u kids testin never ur rhymes are outta context
Im Heartless, My Left Side Is Frozen Permanent Frostbite
Talk Shit To My Face, Leave Ya Breathless On Site
Ima Teacher Ill Teach U How To Spit
So U Can Take All Dat Shit Outta Ya Mouth Like U Was On Dialysis
All New To Da Game Like Virgins Still Havent Been Penetrated
Even With A Load Of Text's U Wouldnt BE Heavily Weighted
Cuz The Style Yall Flow With Is Ear - Abusement
Spit Shit.. Cant Never Amount To Wats Near-The-Truest
Incinerate The Path N Leave A Clear Lead To Victory
Like Da Hero's Of Old Ill Take The Top Instantly
In The Pool Of Rap I Devour The Region
N Leave Da Game Stiff Like A Paraplegic
Yall See A Beast In Action, The Main Attraction
It Aint Ramadan But Ill Leave U Kids Without Food Like U Fastin




wrote thisl ike 8months to 1 year ago.. n i was suppose to record it but i was wondering what can i do/change/remove.. to make it better.. because i will be recording it soon

you can try rewording some lines to update it so to speak. i feel its ok but i feel you can make this alot better to streghten your flow an geting alot more creative =]

dammm thats niceeee,

In first time the player is paused, that's fine, but if I do click on one of the item list the player does not work still on pause and I want when I click one of the item list video player to play the video. That is all. I don't know if it possible. Thanks.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Miss Sirus

you can try rewording some lines to update it so to speak. i feel its ok but i feel you can make this alot better to streghten your flow an geting alot more creative =]

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ty i see wat ur saying... i might just go through a process of eliminating bars and rewriting them.

There good for Trap lines, but they aren't as poetically elaborated on as possible.
You should scan through your bars, some of the lines aren't up to par with the verse.

Shits aii tho styll getting better... keep your stylee you there for keep it true .. punchlines are there no doubt re-wordin some parts but most parts on point ... flow is meh but its a txt so its w.e u kno shits good ... keep em comin maa nikka steel city brappppp

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Miss Sirus

you can try rewording some lines to update it so to speak. i feel its ok but i feel you can make this alot better to streghten your flow an geting alot more creative =]

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i agree..




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