Again….

Again

Dear PAC,

Things not so good but I’m starting a new life
Had a ring on my finger but took it off cause he don’t love me like his wife
We got in a fight and he only pushed me
But when I was in the bath I had a tiny bruise the same exact place where 2012 hit me
I think that was God saying see
2012 hit me on repeat in the same spot over and over again
Only I wasn’t the one that left him
I mean now to go thru it again?
No way…
This time I am the one making sure i walk away
Pac I won’t play…

I just wanted to stay happy
But the begging shit just not me and neither is getting drunk and sloppy
And he’s not the one cause he can’t even stop me
I’m ok…
But it went too far and I know I can no longer pretend
Game it’s all good… I hear you
I just lost like my 7th best friend
Ive had a pit in my stomach for days cause I loved him so much
But I was holding on to his represented self - the best of him and such
My brother talked me thru it
I miss my big brother a lot and his words always get me right to it

At first I blamed me…
But I’m just too sick for love mentally
I said no nun pac but now that’s exactly what I will be
Because no man on this earth but you deserves that loyalty
It’s going to be a long while before I smile again
But Mary please save him and us from sin
He doesn’t deserve it either
But if he don’t care I don’t care neither

Dating 2024…
Guys only want to wife the whore
I just always make them worse
I don’t want to live in some game I have to rehearse
I swear it’s feels like the same old curse
I’m good… I swear
And I promise I won’t take it there
Eyes wide shut but I won’t lie… it was another 14 hr stare as I cried
Even had that glitch and remembered the times I tried suicide
Never again though
Life is hard…
But he can save all that back and forth shit for his new hoe!

TTYS… sincerely me… C

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https://youtu.be/5nhKuK1MhGA?si=cg7fGPv5wRspcWgl

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The beach… DEEP… I should watch the movie again now that I remember